POEMS FOR PEANUT™
There was a TV-loving bunny
who knew that remotes cost good money –
yet he ate like a glutton
each small rubber button –
it wasn’t remotely funny!
Mary E. Cotter
What Winston knows how to do best
is get rid of an unwanted guest.
While the guy eats his soup,
Winston slips him a poop –
just deserts for a guest who’s a pest!
Mary E. Cotter
Snoopy is a black and white Dutch rabbit.
His fur is as soft as silk.
His nose is as pink as candy floss.
He is a prince.
Our home is his kingdom.
He lies on velvet chairs and rests by the fire.
His eyes are as dark as coal.
And on his hands are a pair of white mittens.
Hop, hop, hop, up the stairs he goes.
Thump, thump, thump, down he flies.
To his hutch? NO! To his cage? NO!
For he is a house bunny, free as you and me.
Long live Snoopy! Our Dutch prince.
What a fantastic pair of ears!
They’re not just useful
they’re also beautiful
they’re the envy of all other pets
I’ve only got good things to say about them.
They go up
they go down
they turn around
they’re a lot of fun!
Only elephants have got bigger ones.
When Dandelion snores
the whole flat roars
Mrs James can’t hear the TV anymore.
The reason why Dandelion
is always a blur in photos
is that as soon as Mrs James is about to click
he comes running to be kissed.
Are You Sitting Comfortably?
The reason why Mrs James can’t eat
or make a cup of tea
or keep her house neater
is that there’s usually a bunny sitting on her.
The reason why Mrs James can’t make any calls
is that Superbunny’s landed on the telephone*.
Superbunny is Sweetpea
Is it an otter?
Is it a brown furry slipper?
No! It’s Superbunny’s girlfriend
the beautiful Peanut
this sweet cottontail
is the Lois Lane
of the rabbit world.
There’s no greater bunny love than this
he licks her soft brown ears
and shares his dinner
she keeps him warm in winter.
Where Peanut goes
Sweetpea always follows
needs somebody to love.
Peanut and her action bunny
spend most of the day
helping Mrs James
feed the foster bunnies
and run the house
keeping everybunny safe and sound
and making Mrs James proud.
And after many good deeds
and countless little gifts
the bunny superheroes fall asleep
in front of the TV.
Everybunny Needs Love
Peanut’s nursery rhyme
When Peanut was little
she didn’t care much for cuddles or kisses
she would run away when she saw Mrs James
and spent all her time under sofas.
But now that she is seven years old
she likes to be stroked from her ears to her toes
when you kiss her belly her legs turn to jelly
she leaps in delight, she nudges for more
she wants to be loved and kissed all over!
Now when Mrs James gives hugs
Peanut comes right up to the front
(before the other buns)
and flattens herself like a pancake
which is the best shape for cuddles.
Which just goes to show
you are never too big or too small
too young or too old
too furry or too bald
Superbunny likes to have his muzzle kissed
and folds his ears flat to get more love.
He needs at least one hundred kisses every morning
it helps him get the day off to a good start.
Peanut’s a real beauty
from her ears to her booties
and also a smoothie
to sing her praises is my duty
and while you’re not looking
she will eat your cookie.
Sweetpea has a small problem with mites
and until the itching stops
it’s Mrs James’s job
to scratch him from top to bottom.
Sweetpea is a V.I.B.
that’s a Very Important Bunny to you and me
before he steps onto the parquet
Mrs James has to roll out a carpet
and he simply won’t hop
on linos and floorboards
(he’s afraid he’ll fall on all fours).
Yes, this Mr Smoothie and a prince among peas
won’t get out of bed unless there’s a mat
and won’t even budge without a fleece or a rug
because wherever he goes
he needs something soft under his toes.
Lulu doesn’t come when called
because she’s a little deaf
but she can always hear
a banana being peeled.
Buttercup is Lovely
Some bunnies show they love you
by licking your hand
and letting you give them a friendly pat
others like to follow you everywhere
or sleep under your chair.
Then there’s Buttercup
who hides in his box and runs away
whenever he sees Mrs James.
The sweet guy is extremely shy
but he loves life
and shows he likes her
by dancing on her bed
and taking some banana from her hand.
He may not be super cuddly
but Mrs James thinks he’s lovely
and being brave he will not hesitate
to run to greet her when a banana is being peeled
or leave his dinner
to save a ladybird or other garden critter.
This bunny is a winner!
These days Buttercup Wonderbunny is like a fruitbat:
he only comes out to eat (and have his back rubbed) at night.
It’s lovely to cuddle in the dark with the radio on
my little fruitbat and I are listening to the late show.
To Buttercup, a Fast and Noisy Bunny
Buttercup rabbit has two wonderful qualities:
as soon as Mrs James picks up the peanut box
he runs from the other end of the flat
(where he was busy nibbling on a door)
to his treat station in under one second!
And there’s never a quiet moment with him around:
if there’s no noise, he makes some!
– by chewing and shredding anything he can find.
They say that noise is one of the reasons
why Mrs James doesn’t write better poems.
Mrs James can’t get her beauty sleep
because every morning at around 6
Buttercup goes to tickle her
with his super long whiskers.
As if that wasn’t enough
he digs in her pillows
and jumps up and down
like a sack of potatoes
thumps like a drummer.
Finally Mrs James gets up
(with her eyes half-closed)
to give the bunnies their breakfast
and open the French doors.
But as soon as Buttercup and Dandelion
step outside (their bellies now full)
they decide that actually
it’s a little too sunny today
they’d rather take Mrs James out in the rain.
So they go back to sleep
while Mrs James (now fully awake)
sits in the garden with a cup of tea
dreaming of a lie-in.
When Buttercup is getting ready for bed
between 9.30 and 10am
he slips under his duvet
digs around a lot
then pops back out two or three times
to check I’m still here
to cheer him on:
he’s playing peepo!
Buttercup is looking especially lovely this morning
my little masked bandit
with white fur around his eyes and nose.
He’s wide awake
pointing his ears in all directions
listening out for the treat box.
Buttercup’s Christmas Card
Buttercup Wonderbunny is at the top of my Christmas card list:
a beautiful card with a squirrel in the snow
and red berries has taken pride of place on his sofa,
next to his hay basket and organic pear twigs.
He was even photographed behind it (as if he was reading it)
but this may have proved a bit too much for our furry superhero
who’s now napping with a twig under the duvet.
Buttercup Eats a Geranium
It’s 7.05am and Mrs James is looking proudly at her pink geranium
that’s just blossomed.
After a cup of coffee, she goes up to water it
but the big showy flower’s gone!
Mrs James stares at the plant in disbelief
– now just a few leaves and a stalk –
and wonders if she dreamed it.
Meanwhile Buttercup hovers around the geranium
enjoying the morning sunshine.
Buttercup Behind the Fridge
One day when you were about four years old
I thought I’d lost you.
I looked all over the flat and garden
calling out your name
and rattling the peanut tin
but you were nowhere to be found.
Then I ran out into the street
thinking you might have followed me when I opened the door
but there was no Buttercup.
So I made dozens of posters on coloured card
saying “REWARD!” in capital letters
and was about to fix them on every lamppost
when I heard a shuffle coming from the kitchen
followed by a loud thump!
I slowly moved the fridge out
and there was Buttercup
looking a bit dusty
and squashed against the wall.
The gap was so small
I don’t know how you managed to squeeze in there, Buttercup
but I was so glad I found you
and I gave you a big reward!
Buttercup likes to be talked to.
In the morning he sits on the duvet
in front of his hay box
and listens quietly
while I praise him.
He also keeps an eye on me
in case my hand touches the treat box accidentally
then he’s up on the bed in two giant leaps
as what he likes most of all
is to have a treat while he’s being talked to.
Buttercup Wonderbunny is waiting for me on the sofa
to welcome me back from my holiday.
After digging and sulking for a few minutes (for having left him)
he wastes no time begging for his treats
expecting double portions plus a slice of nectarine.
Then he shakes his ears and leaps about in happiness
running up and down the duvet
it’s great to be home with my best friend!
There’s nothing Buttercup likes more
than to explore cupboards and wardrobes.
As soon as I open a cabinet door
he sneaks up behind me
and chins all the contents
and the moment I turn my back
he’s hopped on a shelf!
This Easter I have not one but two chocolate bunnies
two cheeky twins who are almost good enough to eat.
Buttercup and Dandelion may have been born in a burrow
but now they like their home comforts!
After begging for a treat
they sink their teeth in the settee
and eat their dinner in front of the TV.
Banana for Breakfast
It’s lovely to hear
Buttercup and Dandelion
enjoy their banana.
They chew it enthusiastically
making great slurping noises
and smacking their lips dreamily.
Some days though Buttercup and Dandelion
only eat half their banana or none at all
which alerts Mrs James to get peanuts and raisins
to restore their appetite.
Then as soon as they’ve finished their treats
they wolf down their banana too
as if nothing had happened
and wash their face in front of Mrs James.
Buttercup and Dandelion are 5 years old!
On 6th May we’re having a party
to celebrate their birthday
Mrs James will bake her friends a carrot cake
and buy treats for the bunnies to munch on
– it’s going to be an important day in the rabbit world!
Almost 5 years ago
Buttercup and Dandelion arrived at her home
3 months old and very small
and made themselves comfortable
chewing the flat from top to bottom.
Their friends Sweetpea, Peanut and Lulu,
Scooter, Clover and Snowball
are joining us all
in saying, “We love you!”
and wishing the bunnies Many Happy Returns!
Hail to the Prince
Regally he rests
upon his cushion of hay.
He is small, mighty,
a rabbity prince.
His rank is second
only to Indie the dog.
This is accepted
graciously by all.
We named him Rascal
because his eyes had the look
even at first sight
in Harrod’s pet shop.
Black fur like a mink.
Deliciously smooth to touch
but brush it backwards
it looks like feathers.
Rascal the rabbit
guards the refrigerator.
He appears each time
the door cracks open.
He might stand up tall
and beg for his beloved
curly green parsley
or a blueberry.
I like to watch him
change from a round blob with ears
to a fine athlete
sprinting across tiles.
Or when he settles
down to elegantly wash
a ballet dancer
head to pointed foot.
But I most adore
when he arrives at my side
waiting for his share
of daily affection.
Behind his long ears
is the spot to attend to
he closes black eyes
and purrs rabbit joy.